Scoot Commute


What do a silver VW Passat wagon, Garrison Keillor and the dirty jokes audio channel on cable have in common?

Riding home tonight from school, I took my regular left onto Atwell’s Avenue from Eagle Street. Lots of traffic coming straight, so I made the turn as the light was about to turn as I had been patiently sitting mid-intersection waiting for the oncoming traffic to clear (per DMV regs). The VW Passat wagon behind me blew through the red light as he was not in the intersection as the light turned.

I swung over to the right to avoid the giant mass of potholes in the middle of Atwells as I’m more than aware of as I take this route home at least 3 times a week. After avoiding the potholes, I started to move back toward the middle of the lane, only to discover that VW Passat thought he could take my lane and blow on pass me in a 25mph zone. The angry rogue inside of me had to pull up next to him and bang on the passenger side window…oh, wait, you’re on the ‘phone, yeah, that’s right…driving is secondary to running someone off the road, oh wait, make that tertiary to having a conversation and running someone off the road. Man, if I had a crowbar, he’d have no window. Prick. What is with modern VW drivers?! Seriously, they’re the worst! The next time you’re in the market for a car and you’re considering a Volkswagen, take a long, hard look in the mirror.

Upon returning home (in one piece!) I quickly changed because I was headed out to the Providence Performing Arts Center for a show by Garrison Keillor. “Let’s be the youngest people in the audience!” I proclaimed to my neighbor, Beth, who was driving me and Erik to the venue. We got primo parking and stopped in at Cilantro’s for a quick dinner. Yum, it’s sorta like Benny’s Burrito’s, but not really.

Garrison was terrific! He performed for almost 2 1/2 hours. He’s looking a bit weary from the stroke late last year, and the show was much raunchier than the radio show (seriously, I had to cover my face a few times, but then again, I’m the shyest person there is).

Beth drove us home in the Lexus (courtesy of Mark and David). It has a back-up camera that I couldn’t stop looking at. She thought it was distracting; I thought it was fascinating. The seats were heated (I was freezing, as usual), but then I realized the seats could also be set to cooling. There were way too many mod cons. And here I thought I had a modern car with my 2007 Honda Fit.

Upon walking into the house, the radio was blaaaasting. We always keep the radio on to dissuade intruders (yeeeeah, livin’ in da ‘hood), but this was different. This was not the radio in the kitchen; this was the TV radio.

One of the idiot furry creatures figured out how to turn on one of the cable TV radio stations…the one that plays stand-up comedian routines…the one with the bad language warning. Erik has a single remote programmed to turn on the various boxes to show 1) television, 2) the Wii, 3) the DVD player, and 4) the radio (um, actually WRNI 1290 AM!). So I can push one button and the various components that are needed for that action turn themselves on to the correct channels.

Apparently, the cats like the durty jokes cable audio channel. At least no one tried to break in that night.

And yes, the answer to the initial query is: THURSDAY.


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